Chase would like to make a complaint
by Sparkly-elf
Summary: That's it! Chase is tired of all our shenanigans and has decided to take a strong worded action towards the matter. Let the insanity begin. ONESHOT, though I may come up with something else should I see fit.


Chase would like to make a complaint.

_It's been a lot of fun writing this. There are some lines from JTHM(Jhonny the Homicidal Maniac), Filler Bunny (we love you Vasquez!) and also the characters are from Xiaolin Showdown. None of this stuff is mine, except the actual fic but now I'm just confusing myself. _

_Enjoy!_

I, Chase Young, am getting particularly tired of the recent FanFiction crap that has been showing up lately. Yes that's right, I'm talking to **_you_**: the shameless Internet geeks and fan fiction writers. You wretched little beings have been putting me through hell with these so-called stories of yours. Some very disturbing ones have reached my pointy ears of late.

However unpleasant it may be for me to admit this, it is not funny to play God. You have this unfathomable idea in your heads that you can maim/kill/decapitate/disfigure/destroy me with none other than the latest Limp Bizkit CD and a can of diet Pepsi.

Not to seem interested in your personal lives or anything, but you're not even getting paid for this. It must take massive amounts of boredom (and a certain degree of voyeurism, I would say the least) to come up with this…this horridness (for lack of a much more **_EVIL_** term).

To broaden the spectrum I would like to point out the following:

I have never been, and never will be a 1000-year-old pervert! What's wrong with you people? You pair me up with Omi? Satan on a scoter, I would never! I don't mind Kimiko, or Katnappè or Wuya, but Omi? And Christ on a bike since when is my hatred for Jack Spicer suddenly a façade to: "fill the void that is my undying love for him"? Haven't you put me through enough (vomits uncontrollably)? Not only that but I'm **_NOT GAY! _**Odd pairings I can take, for one day I shall soon see the fan fic titled: Chase Young and Sparkles the transvestite fairy for all I know…

Now my "triumphant" (_cough**pathetic**cough_) return to the side of good… ah, these made me laugh for ten straight minuets before I put my foot through the computer screen. It suddenly happens with Omi/Raimundo/Kimiko/Clay/Other shouting "Oh be nice!" and then me throwing down my weapon and glowing with shiny backdrop (slaps forehead). I am _**evil **_andthis much is true. Oh come on, I sold my soul for a **_soup_** made of **_dragon_** for Dashi's sake! Why, every time you try to redeem me and make me into a decent human being, somewhere there will be cute little fluffy kittens being killed, so you really should stop.

However, some of these sordid little tales of debauchery I like (big dirty smile)! How you get these situations to lead to hot, passionate and yet meaningless sex is beyond me.

The humorous fiction stories are the ones that get to me the most. It's bad enough that you put me into the weirdest situations, oddest pairings and the most random unpleasantness, but when my own creator has me pitched against a somehow-stronger-than-me spherical talking piece of flesh with limbs and his friends from random parts of the globe it makes my non-existent heart sore (sad face). Tell me dear children, why? Why do you make me a drag queen, or a stripper or a sexy nurse? Why? I think I'm even **_pregnant_** in one of them!

Omi: It's a boy! (Rubbing Chase's stomach)

Ugh…

Should I meet you on the street I would throw pigswill at you and bludgeon you with a hammer! It will frighten you, my hammering-ness!

But that is just it. Your power of writing is unlimited and you are the mini-gods in your cruel, callous and often criminally insane ways! (That is of course, if in some alternate universe somehow whatever you wrote would become a reality. If this much is true then I'm pretty much screwed. I'm going to now sit in a corner until I stop shaking from blind terror caused by my own insanity)

Unfortunately, you can do it. So go ahead, destroy me with a toothpick, make me conceive triplets, marry me off to a Jackbot in Las Vegas because I can do nothing to help it! I hope you're happy!

Omi: I can feel it kicking (hugging Chase's stomach).

Oh for the love of God…

_Author's notes: This was so much fun and I hope you liked it. Free Chase baby for the reviewers! Please review (puppy stare)! Also this story was removed before, but I fixed the errors that I could find, toned down the language and put up the rating. I would like to say that I'm sorry for screwing it up the first time and I hope that it's okay now. Thanks for reading!_


End file.
